Sunday, January 23, 2011

Why Aren't You Writing?

I just realized that a week has passed, and I haven't written anything on my blog.  I always feel guilty when I don't find time to write...kind of like the guilt I feel when I don't exercise.  Problem there is that it's usually more than a week that has gone by, and I wonder if just watching the following will help me burn calories...sing know you know the words:

 And I used to think that was just a song about exercising...

All joking aside, it's usually a combination of things that keep me from writing anything: tired, stressed, heavy work load, stepping outside after being cooped up in my apartment all day because I've forgotten what fresh air feels/smells like, not wanting to go back in because that means I have more work to do.

Back in '98 or '99 (I wish I could remember), my aunt was dying of cancer.  It was one of those rare moments in life when I actually had the opportunity to "say goodbye" to someone I loved.  I always thought that would be easier.  But, truth be told, it wasn't.  My dad had died in '97 of a massive heart attack in the middle of eating lunch, and that was a shock to the system I can't even begin to describe.  There were no goodbyes there.  One day he was around and the next day he wasn't.  But given the chance to say goodbye is just "different," not "easier."  Not long before my aunt died, I walked into her room.  She was not having a good day, and she could barely motion me in.  I walked over to her bed and sat down gently.  She reached over and held my hand.  There was no, "Hello, how are you," or "How is school going," but instead she asked me:

"Are you writing?"

I shook my head.

"Why not?"

I didn't have an answer for her.

She looked at me and said, "Never stop writing.  Promise me?"

I promised.

But it's not a promise I always keep...

So tonight, I don't have anything particularly profound or insightful for my readers...I just felt the need to write...Mickey would have wanted me to.

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