Friday, April 15, 2011

Absence of Presence

Yeah, this blog idea is working well for me...I think I may be averaging one post every other month.  Ah, we get busy, don't we?  And damn if life doesn't get in the way...which brings me to my topic for this post.

I've been thinking about articles I've read, news stories I've heard, and conversations I've had with friends of mine about Facebook...and the "dangers" it can have on people's self-esteem.  I know, you've heard the reports.  Too much time spent on FB can cause us to lose our ability to have actual face-to-face conversations, we spend too much time on the computer and not enough in the "real world," we start flipping through other people's posts and pictures and begin to think their lives are better than ours or more exciting...oh wait...go back to that last one for a second.

Does that happen to you?  Seriously...have you ever found yourself going through someone's recent pictures or posts and think, damn...why isn't my life like that?  She looks like she has her life together, and I feel like a loser for grading and doing laundry on a Friday night.  (Let the record show that tonight is different...I'm doing laundry, but I spiced things up a bit...and took out the trash.)

Here's my problem (if you say I have more than one by this point, we'll discuss that issue at a later time.). I tend to WANT to post on FB when my life ISN'T going all that great.  And if everyone else did once in a while, I wouldn't feel this pressure for my life to be perfect all the time.  I mean, don't you need "friends" the most when you are down and out?  (I say "friends"...because honestly, I probably only actually have conversations with about 20 out of my 200+)  Don't you feel better when other people's lives aren't all Mary Poppins?  I mean, really...the only birds flying around me are the ones that fly into my window and take an hour to recover.  Is it okay that I post that? 

So, yeah.  Life can be pretty good...but it's not all you'll ever see from me.  I can look in the mirror and chant, "I'm good enough.  I'm smart enough.  And, gosh darnit, people like me."  But the older I get, the more realistic I get.  And sometimes, I just need to see that I'm not the only one who finds life a challenge every now and again.


  1. Trust me, you're not the only one who feels that way, Chantel. My real-life friends in Missouri used to joke about how snide my statuses often were. I'm just honest and sometimes provocative. I too hate when people share nothing but how awesome their life/wife/kids are, etc. But I've learned not to take such things at face value. That helps me feel better. Because like you said, some people prefer to post during a specific attitude.

    I'll always be right there with you on this!

  2. Thanks, Ian! I think about the fact that my college friends used to call me Morticia because of my outlook on life. :) I'd like to think it was more of a "realistic" outlook. I do have great days and am very grateful for those...but I feel like I want to post on the days that are not "perfect" or "award winning." It's on those days that I need the rally of "I'm right there with you." But, it's funny. I found myself quickly removing the link to this post from my FB page. I thought that it was too grim...ah well. It's good to know I'm not the only one.